A Wretch like Me

I worship and bow down,
Praise and adore
this image in the mirror,
I ceaselessly adorn.
I smile at the lies-
believe what isn’t true;
place this golden image
in the holy place of You.

Disciple you could call me-
a student of the world,
making much of who I am
and less of who You are.
I meditate and study,
on diet, hair and fashion-
but when it comes down to Your word,
I’m lacking that same passion.

I follow in his steps,
make his paths my ways-
whatever guy I have a crush on,
not Your Son who took my place.
I try hard to impress him,
make him look my way,
he robs of Your attention
as I let him take Your place.

Admire and look up to
everything they do-
those I watch in Hollywood,
not those who follow You.
I want to look just like them,
want their fame and adoration,
put them on a pedestal
that wins all my attention.

I look at what You’ve given me,
I whine and I complain,
why do I drive a messed up car-
why is there nothing in my bank?
Why do I have debt,
and nothing I can save?
Why don’t I look like her,
why is an easy road not paved?
Why can’t I have a tan,
why can’t I lose some weight?
Why can’t I be taller?
I want romantic fate.

And then I read about them,
and scoff at what they do;
those silly, stubborn Israelites
who always turn from You.
Why do they ignore,
all that You have done?
Why don’t they fall and worship You-
since they are Your chosen ones?
Don’t they see they don’t deserve
the favor that You gave?
Don’t they see that they’re a mess,
need blood shed in their place?
Don’t they understand the weight
of what You’ve taken on?
Can’t they see that You could leave?
They’d die if You were gone.

Suddenly truth shakes his head,
disappointed and let down;
His caring eyes plead with me,
highlighting his frown.
How can I become the judge
of Israel’s repeated sin?
When everything she tripped upon
also dwells within?
Everything inside of me,
broken in its nature?
Another thorn upon his crown,
piercing him with torture.

How I wish that I could say
I deserve this freeing grace;
but you read the lines
I wrote above- and see I’m a disgrace.
No matter my job title,
I’m really just the same;
As his chosen, stubborn Israel-
His bride He chose to save.
And what a heavy cost it then
tags onto Calvary;
That He would give up everything,
take brutal death for me.
Doesn’t it confuse you?
Makes our God sound crazy-
That he would take on
His own wrath,
to save someone so lazy.

But He did- it has been done,
so now all I can do;
is forsake and curse these idols-
give all I can to worship You;
Hate the sin within me,
that still tries to win me over;
Long and pray for holiness-
though I have nothing to show for
the law you gave to this earth
to live a righteous life;
It’s now Christ that lives within me,
helps me sacrifice
the things I used to live for-
That still try to bring me down,
When baptized in His spirit
those evil things all drowned.
Lord won’t You make me into,
one used to spread Your gospel;
transform this wretched life
into a life-giving vessel.
Please come and make me humble-
for I think too much of who I am;
I want to be a servant,
living out Your plan.
And may I wake up every day,
overwhelmed to see-
You gave your body and your blood,
to save a wretch like me.