Something Steady

Cling to the metal bar,
holding my breath;
starting to ascend,
which just means down is coming next.
Knots tighten in my stomach
rationality gone,
I dread this roller coaster
I'm always riding on.

Magnificent altitude,
as if I'm on cloud nine;
when I'm sitting at the top,
my excitement freezes time.
So happy in love.
A check in the mail.
Big grin on my face,
optimism prevails.
Love what I do,
don't care what it costs;
passion renewed,
for reaching the lost.
Then one thing goes wrong,
I'm losing my high;
crashing the plane
my enthusiasm flies.
Roller coaster descends,
faster than expected!
And I cannot pretend,
cynicism's been detected.
My body, it aches
as the flame dwindles out;
dimming my faith
and exposing my doubt.

What I would give
to ride on a train;
one steady track-
not an energy drain.
Move at the same speed
throughout the whole ride;
adrenaline won't peak,
buy anxieties subside.
Safe and comfortable,
with space between rows;
not hanging onto handlebars,
openly exposed.

Grab onto what I can
to find some constancy;
though blessings they don't help much
on a ride with so much speed.
Good thing that they don't,
they were never meant to be
my anchor or the source
to calm or set me free.

Truth that speaks louder
than weary eyes can see;
there is, in fact, an answer
that's not complacency.
Wonderfully familiar,
constant, faint beat-
the heart of the Rock
steady underneath my feet.