I worship and bow down,
Praise and adore
this image in the mirror,
I ceaselessly adorn.
I smile at the lies-
believe what isn’t true;
place this golden image
in the holy place of You.
Disciple you could call me-
a student of the world,
making much of who I am
and less of who You are.
I meditate and study,
on diet, hair and fashion-
but when it comes down to Your word,
I’m lacking that same passion.
I follow in his steps,
make his paths my ways-
whatever guy I have a crush on,
not Your Son who took my place.
I try hard to impress him,
make him look my way,
he robs of Your attention
as I let him take Your place.
Admire and look up to
everything they do-
those I watch in Hollywood,
not those who follow You.
I want to look just like them,
want their fame and adoration,
put them on a pedestal
that wins all my attention.
I look at what You’ve given me,
I whine and I complain,
why do I drive a messed up car-
why is there nothing in my bank?
Why do I have debt,
and nothing I can save?
Why don’t I look like her,
why is an easy road not paved?
Why can’t I have a tan,
why can’t I lose some weight?
Why can’t I be taller?
I want romantic fate.
And then I read about them,
and scoff at what they do;
those silly, stubborn Israelites
who always turn from You.
Why do they ignore,
all that You have done?
Why don’t they fall and worship You-
since they are Your chosen ones?
Don’t they see they don’t deserve
the favor that You gave?
Don’t they see that they’re a mess,
need blood shed in their place?
Don’t they understand the weight
of what You’ve taken on?
Can’t they see that You could leave?
They’d die if You were gone.
Suddenly truth shakes his head,
disappointed and let down;
His caring eyes plead with me,
highlighting his frown.
How can I become the judge
of Israel’s repeated sin?
When everything she tripped upon
also dwells within?
Everything inside of me,
broken in its nature?
Another thorn upon his crown,
piercing him with torture.
How I wish that I could say
I deserve this freeing grace;
but you read the lines
I wrote above- and see I’m a disgrace.
No matter my job title,
I’m really just the same;
As his chosen, stubborn Israel-
His bride He chose to save.
And what a heavy cost it then
tags onto Calvary;
That He would give up everything,
take brutal death for me.
Doesn’t it confuse you?
Makes our God sound crazy-
That he would take on
His own wrath,
to save someone so lazy.
But He did- it has been done,
so now all I can do;
is forsake and curse these idols-
give all I can to worship You;
Hate the sin within me,
that still tries to win me over;
Long and pray for holiness-
though I have nothing to show for
the law you gave to this earth
to live a righteous life;
It’s now Christ that lives within me,
helps me sacrifice
the things I used to live for-
That still try to bring me down,
When baptized in His spirit
those evil things all drowned.
Lord won’t You make me into,
one used to spread Your gospel;
transform this wretched life
into a life-giving vessel.
Please come and make me humble-
for I think too much of who I am;
I want to be a servant,
living out Your plan.
And may I wake up every day,
overwhelmed to see-
You gave your body and your blood,
to save a wretch like me.
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Monday, December 1, 2008
As I wait
As I wait for you,
while you're not in my life;
may my heart and body be pure,
until I'm your wife.
May my mind be discerning,
of who I let in;
only viewing as brothers,
men who are friends.
As I wait for you,
keep my eyes on the cross;
forgetting my past,
and embracing the cost-
that I must pay in my singleness,
when I stand firm;
for it's not the world or her lies,
but Christ and my husband I serve.
It can be a tough choice,
when surrounded by glamour;
Hollywood's fairy tales-
though illusions, they pamper
my imagination and longings,
created for good;
but spoiled on bad,
when they're misunderstood.
As I wait for you,
I turn off the TV;
throw out magazines,
that cleverly deceive.
They tell me that love
is something I can find,
in any smart, athletic,
rich, good-looking guy.
"Do what you have to
to make him look your way;"
"Follow these 5 steps,"
the articles all say.
Well I put all this behind me,
to pursue a love that's true;
that is patient and is kind,
that's what I want to offer you.
It does not envy, does not boast;
it is not proud, it is not rude;
this is the love one day, my dear,
I want to offer you.
It is not self-serving-
does not put itself first;
is not easily angered,
does not bring out the worst.
It is quick to forgive,
keeps no record of wrongs,
does not delight in evil,
but for truth it always longs.
It protects and always trusts,
it hopes and perseveres;
it doesn't push away,
but welcomes others near.
A love that never fails,
commitment not subdued;
This love one day, beloved,
I want to give to you.
So as I wait for you,
I will guard the door;
that opens to my heart and soul,
sacred for you only to adore.
And I will put in practice
dying to myself,
so that I may serve you better-
with your patience and God's help.
I'm eager to encourage you,
and labor by your side;
so as I wait for you,
I'll practice dying to my pride.
I cannot wait to love you,
with everything I am;
cannot wait to touch you,
can't wait to hold your hand.
I'm excited to empower you,
give you courage to embrace
the strong man I know you are,
conquering all God allows to fill our plate.
As I wait for you, my love,
I want you to know:
God's developing a love for you,
that with age will only grow.
I know we'll face our trials,
fight against the storms of life;
but for better or worse,
I'm glad I'll be yours-
Love,
your future wife.
while you're not in my life;
may my heart and body be pure,
until I'm your wife.
May my mind be discerning,
of who I let in;
only viewing as brothers,
men who are friends.
As I wait for you,
keep my eyes on the cross;
forgetting my past,
and embracing the cost-
that I must pay in my singleness,
when I stand firm;
for it's not the world or her lies,
but Christ and my husband I serve.
It can be a tough choice,
when surrounded by glamour;
Hollywood's fairy tales-
though illusions, they pamper
my imagination and longings,
created for good;
but spoiled on bad,
when they're misunderstood.
As I wait for you,
I turn off the TV;
throw out magazines,
that cleverly deceive.
They tell me that love
is something I can find,
in any smart, athletic,
rich, good-looking guy.
"Do what you have to
to make him look your way;"
"Follow these 5 steps,"
the articles all say.
Well I put all this behind me,
to pursue a love that's true;
that is patient and is kind,
that's what I want to offer you.
It does not envy, does not boast;
it is not proud, it is not rude;
this is the love one day, my dear,
I want to offer you.
It is not self-serving-
does not put itself first;
is not easily angered,
does not bring out the worst.
It is quick to forgive,
keeps no record of wrongs,
does not delight in evil,
but for truth it always longs.
It protects and always trusts,
it hopes and perseveres;
it doesn't push away,
but welcomes others near.
A love that never fails,
commitment not subdued;
This love one day, beloved,
I want to give to you.
So as I wait for you,
I will guard the door;
that opens to my heart and soul,
sacred for you only to adore.
And I will put in practice
dying to myself,
so that I may serve you better-
with your patience and God's help.
I'm eager to encourage you,
and labor by your side;
so as I wait for you,
I'll practice dying to my pride.
I cannot wait to love you,
with everything I am;
cannot wait to touch you,
can't wait to hold your hand.
I'm excited to empower you,
give you courage to embrace
the strong man I know you are,
conquering all God allows to fill our plate.
As I wait for you, my love,
I want you to know:
God's developing a love for you,
that with age will only grow.
I know we'll face our trials,
fight against the storms of life;
but for better or worse,
I'm glad I'll be yours-
Love,
your future wife.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
New Eyes
Help me to see with new eyes,
my vision is dim,
clouded with pride,
reduced by my sin.
Getting frustrated
with gifts I don’t have;
but I don’t turn to you,
why would I do that?
You only made everything,
hold it all in your hands;
You only gave grace,
that I can’t understand;
You only spoke peace,
broke the chains I once wore;
Only carried a cross
that I should have bore.
Help me see with new eyes,
for mine have a plank;
as I question this calling,
think I made a mistake.
Lethargic with truth
You entrusted me with;
because I’m not seeing fruit
when I pour into this.
I want to press on,
have zeal that’s unmoved-
but that’s nearly impossible
if my eyes aren’t on you;
stay “joyful in hope, patient in affliction,
faithful in prayer,”
that’s Paul’s ammunition;
joyful in hope-when things go my way;
patient and faithful?
Don’t know what to say;
Does it count as a prayer,
if I’m yelling at you?
How do I listen?
What do you speak through?
Help me see with new eyes,
for mine get distracted
with the treasures around me,
need these lenses retracted;
I whine, “it’s not fair”
when I can’t pay my bills,
yet I look like the world,
lavished with frills.
Walk by those with nothing,
tragic smile on my face,
as my eyes tell them, “sorry”
but my wallet won’t break.
And I’m far too important
to wear rags like that,
so I walk past these beggars,
refuse to look back.
Sacrifice nothing,
because I say that I can’t,
forgetting what He did,
As my image I revamp.
I can almost feel you,
looking at me;
sorrowful eyes
that want to set my soul free;
Your eyes want so much more
than the things that I grasp,
like the guidance you’d give me,
if only I’d ask;
They are the most beautiful
eyes I have seen;
The ones that see everything,
yet choose to love me.
Refusing to turn
from the garbage they see;
unspeakable rottenness
that’s rooted in me;
Forgiveness eternal,
mercy that lasts-
Lord, give me new eyes;
new eyes like that…
my vision is dim,
clouded with pride,
reduced by my sin.
Getting frustrated
with gifts I don’t have;
but I don’t turn to you,
why would I do that?
You only made everything,
hold it all in your hands;
You only gave grace,
that I can’t understand;
You only spoke peace,
broke the chains I once wore;
Only carried a cross
that I should have bore.
Help me see with new eyes,
for mine have a plank;
as I question this calling,
think I made a mistake.
Lethargic with truth
You entrusted me with;
because I’m not seeing fruit
when I pour into this.
I want to press on,
have zeal that’s unmoved-
but that’s nearly impossible
if my eyes aren’t on you;
stay “joyful in hope, patient in affliction,
faithful in prayer,”
that’s Paul’s ammunition;
joyful in hope-when things go my way;
patient and faithful?
Don’t know what to say;
Does it count as a prayer,
if I’m yelling at you?
How do I listen?
What do you speak through?
Help me see with new eyes,
for mine get distracted
with the treasures around me,
need these lenses retracted;
I whine, “it’s not fair”
when I can’t pay my bills,
yet I look like the world,
lavished with frills.
Walk by those with nothing,
tragic smile on my face,
as my eyes tell them, “sorry”
but my wallet won’t break.
And I’m far too important
to wear rags like that,
so I walk past these beggars,
refuse to look back.
Sacrifice nothing,
because I say that I can’t,
forgetting what He did,
As my image I revamp.
I can almost feel you,
looking at me;
sorrowful eyes
that want to set my soul free;
Your eyes want so much more
than the things that I grasp,
like the guidance you’d give me,
if only I’d ask;
They are the most beautiful
eyes I have seen;
The ones that see everything,
yet choose to love me.
Refusing to turn
from the garbage they see;
unspeakable rottenness
that’s rooted in me;
Forgiveness eternal,
mercy that lasts-
Lord, give me new eyes;
new eyes like that…
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Waiting.
What a journey it has been for you,
and it hasn't been smooth road;
eaten by anxiety,
feel weary and alone.
Desires pressing hard
upon a heart that seems concealed;
Long to know His will,
yet it has not been revealed.
Try opening your hands
to what He wants to give to you;
but it’s hard to loosen up your grasp,
as your knuckles are turning blue.
Longing to relax,
just to feel a sense of peace;
how long will this pain last?
When will you be set free?
“For I know the plans I have for you,”
it says the Lord declares;
yet it’s hard to understand-
when your lot does not seem fair.
How, then, do you wait on Him,
with decisions on your hands?
Waiting with torture in their voice,
making high demands.
This life, it is not simple;
it’s filled with sacrifice;
normal mediocrity
beginning to entice-
the deepest depths beyond your heart
that no one can see into;
hunger pains you can’t resist,
but there’s nothing you can do.
What does it mean
to serve with joy
when robbed of all control?
How do you lift
your hands and voice
with such a broken soul?
Trying to look forward,
and focus on the race;
wondering if this long hard run
will still land you in last place-
in the competition of your desires;
a war waging in your soul;
it’s just so tough to trust in Him,
and willingly let go.
Wish I could take this from you,
steal this burden from your hands;
comprehension is so far from me,
I just can’t understand.
But I will lift a prayer for you
when all is said and done;
That He will take you in His arms,
let you gracefully come undone.
I’ll ask He give you strength,
as you’re called in Him to wait;
and in it, that you’ll find joy
as you gladly anticipate-
all the things He holds for you,
with this bright future in His plans;
surrounded by the ones you love,
who will start to understand;
and know how best to love you,
affirming that they care;
that you will feel His presence,
never question if He’s there;
and I lift up most of all,
that you keep in sight His kingdom;
your love abound more and more in knowledge,
depth of insight, and in wisdom;
so you can discern what is best,
pure and blameless before Christ.
Always remember He gave His all to You-
for you, He gave His life.
and it hasn't been smooth road;
eaten by anxiety,
feel weary and alone.
Desires pressing hard
upon a heart that seems concealed;
Long to know His will,
yet it has not been revealed.
Try opening your hands
to what He wants to give to you;
but it’s hard to loosen up your grasp,
as your knuckles are turning blue.
Longing to relax,
just to feel a sense of peace;
how long will this pain last?
When will you be set free?
“For I know the plans I have for you,”
it says the Lord declares;
yet it’s hard to understand-
when your lot does not seem fair.
How, then, do you wait on Him,
with decisions on your hands?
Waiting with torture in their voice,
making high demands.
This life, it is not simple;
it’s filled with sacrifice;
normal mediocrity
beginning to entice-
the deepest depths beyond your heart
that no one can see into;
hunger pains you can’t resist,
but there’s nothing you can do.
What does it mean
to serve with joy
when robbed of all control?
How do you lift
your hands and voice
with such a broken soul?
Trying to look forward,
and focus on the race;
wondering if this long hard run
will still land you in last place-
in the competition of your desires;
a war waging in your soul;
it’s just so tough to trust in Him,
and willingly let go.
Wish I could take this from you,
steal this burden from your hands;
comprehension is so far from me,
I just can’t understand.
But I will lift a prayer for you
when all is said and done;
That He will take you in His arms,
let you gracefully come undone.
I’ll ask He give you strength,
as you’re called in Him to wait;
and in it, that you’ll find joy
as you gladly anticipate-
all the things He holds for you,
with this bright future in His plans;
surrounded by the ones you love,
who will start to understand;
and know how best to love you,
affirming that they care;
that you will feel His presence,
never question if He’s there;
and I lift up most of all,
that you keep in sight His kingdom;
your love abound more and more in knowledge,
depth of insight, and in wisdom;
so you can discern what is best,
pure and blameless before Christ.
Always remember He gave His all to You-
for you, He gave His life.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Perspective
I close my eyes and smile
as I breathe in the salty air;
I look up at the sky
and I’m reminded You are here.
A sense of rest and peace,
that I’ve been wanting for so long;
I sink into serenity,
feel like nothing can go wrong.
I think back and reflect upon
the things I’ve said to You-
of how I’m tired and I’m weary,
feeling battered, beat and bruised.
And now I wonder to myself-
how long did I celebrate my pity?
Wallow in self-absorption-
a sight not ever pretty.
Long to be a reflection
of who You are and what You’ve done;
yet as soon as hard times hit,
I cower in defeat, or I just run.
So how are they supposed to see You?
If I don’t act like You are here?
They see my face covered in my hands,
sheltered in despair.
It almost rings of humor
when I think about it now;
Surrounded by Your blessings,
but things aren’t easy, so I pout.
When those around me really suffer
facing death and poverty;
people that are starving,
while I’m crying, “woe is me!”
I’m sorry that I whine,
while You try to show me love;
I argue and complain,
as if Your mercy’s not enough.
Now, as I drink in Your creation,
I see that there’s a bigger picture;
I see how small I am,
just one ingredient in the mixture.
But, you know- it’s so refreshing,
an accurate picture of who I am;
and who You are in all Your majesty,
working out Your mighty plan.
Nutrition to the soul,
seeing minuteness in the mirror;
pride’s death, it welcomes servitude,
that makes my purpose clearer.
Your patience overwhelms me,
as I see that I’m a mess;
You never let it stop You,
You never offer less
than everything You could ever give-
You sacrificed it all,
to welcome me into Your arms,
reverse the debt of the fall.
How can I ever thank You?
When clearly I’m unable,
to always walk in step-
my faith is rarely stable.
I always find myself
getting tripped up by these traps-
they always seem the same,
yet I let them form a gap
between the One who loves me most,
and my stubborn heart You cherish;
You don’t have to put up with this-
You could have let me perish.
Lord, thank You that You didn’t!
Mercy I will never fully grasp,
I cannot wait to see Your face,
and be with You at last…
as I breathe in the salty air;
I look up at the sky
and I’m reminded You are here.
A sense of rest and peace,
that I’ve been wanting for so long;
I sink into serenity,
feel like nothing can go wrong.
I think back and reflect upon
the things I’ve said to You-
of how I’m tired and I’m weary,
feeling battered, beat and bruised.
And now I wonder to myself-
how long did I celebrate my pity?
Wallow in self-absorption-
a sight not ever pretty.
Long to be a reflection
of who You are and what You’ve done;
yet as soon as hard times hit,
I cower in defeat, or I just run.
So how are they supposed to see You?
If I don’t act like You are here?
They see my face covered in my hands,
sheltered in despair.
It almost rings of humor
when I think about it now;
Surrounded by Your blessings,
but things aren’t easy, so I pout.
When those around me really suffer
facing death and poverty;
people that are starving,
while I’m crying, “woe is me!”
I’m sorry that I whine,
while You try to show me love;
I argue and complain,
as if Your mercy’s not enough.
Now, as I drink in Your creation,
I see that there’s a bigger picture;
I see how small I am,
just one ingredient in the mixture.
But, you know- it’s so refreshing,
an accurate picture of who I am;
and who You are in all Your majesty,
working out Your mighty plan.
Nutrition to the soul,
seeing minuteness in the mirror;
pride’s death, it welcomes servitude,
that makes my purpose clearer.
Your patience overwhelms me,
as I see that I’m a mess;
You never let it stop You,
You never offer less
than everything You could ever give-
You sacrificed it all,
to welcome me into Your arms,
reverse the debt of the fall.
How can I ever thank You?
When clearly I’m unable,
to always walk in step-
my faith is rarely stable.
I always find myself
getting tripped up by these traps-
they always seem the same,
yet I let them form a gap
between the One who loves me most,
and my stubborn heart You cherish;
You don’t have to put up with this-
You could have let me perish.
Lord, thank You that You didn’t!
Mercy I will never fully grasp,
I cannot wait to see Your face,
and be with You at last…
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Refuel Me
Do I have it in me today?
Don't think that I do.
I know I seem distant,
isolated from You.
Feeling inadequate,
want to give up;
lies screaming, "failure!
you're never enough."
But I feel like I'm trying,
want You by my side;
I just don't have it in me,
though I don't want to slide.
Sit here with Your word,
and a pen in my hand;
but it seems so exhausting-
attempting to understand;
the depths of Your thoughts
extent of Your grace;
so I sit here complacent,
stare at the page.
Try engaging my mind
and engaging my heart-
but both feel worn down,
don't know where to start.
And it feels like work,
because that's all I do;
an hour of wages?
or time spent with you?
Where is the romance?
I know it's not gone.
Joy that runs deeper,
not absent smile I put on.
"How was your day?
How can I care for you?"
But who cares for me?
question long overdue.
You "bind the broken heart"
heal the "crushed in spirit"-
Well, when will that day come?
appears I'm nowhere near it.
Do You hear what I am saying?
Does it even make sense?
Feels like I'm a zombie,
dreaming in past-tense;
when I wasn't in charge-
wasn't all on my shoulders;
in wisdom I've matured,
but passion has grown colder.
Is truth really all I need
to save me from the fire?
Seems I'm losing my grip,
because I'm feeling so...tired.
It's hot where I am hanging,
feel the stinging of the flames-
though I'm rebuking the attack,
by calling out Your name.
Guess it's what Paul meant-
saying for Your sake, we'll suffer;
it's starting to be real,
as life is getting tougher.
So will You be my anchor?
Please give me Your strength.
I'm begging and I'm pleading-
I can't give, if You won't take.
What's the point in sowing seeds,
if they won't end up watered?
Sounding like relief-
those who for faith had become martyrs.
Don't know how to end well,
because it seems it's all just started;
Paul says, "to live is Christ-"
well I'd rather be departed.
Forgive me for my cynicism,
waving a flag that claims defeat;
not usually pessimistic,
but I'm lacking so much sleep.
Know I'm a broken wretch
that You could've just thrown out;
Instead You offered living water,
made my life a spout.
Remind me of Your goodness,
put me in my place;
fix me and restore me,
Lord refuel me with Your grace.
Don't think that I do.
I know I seem distant,
isolated from You.
Feeling inadequate,
want to give up;
lies screaming, "failure!
you're never enough."
But I feel like I'm trying,
want You by my side;
I just don't have it in me,
though I don't want to slide.
Sit here with Your word,
and a pen in my hand;
but it seems so exhausting-
attempting to understand;
the depths of Your thoughts
extent of Your grace;
so I sit here complacent,
stare at the page.
Try engaging my mind
and engaging my heart-
but both feel worn down,
don't know where to start.
And it feels like work,
because that's all I do;
an hour of wages?
or time spent with you?
Where is the romance?
I know it's not gone.
Joy that runs deeper,
not absent smile I put on.
"How was your day?
How can I care for you?"
But who cares for me?
question long overdue.
You "bind the broken heart"
heal the "crushed in spirit"-
Well, when will that day come?
appears I'm nowhere near it.
Do You hear what I am saying?
Does it even make sense?
Feels like I'm a zombie,
dreaming in past-tense;
when I wasn't in charge-
wasn't all on my shoulders;
in wisdom I've matured,
but passion has grown colder.
Is truth really all I need
to save me from the fire?
Seems I'm losing my grip,
because I'm feeling so...tired.
It's hot where I am hanging,
feel the stinging of the flames-
though I'm rebuking the attack,
by calling out Your name.
Guess it's what Paul meant-
saying for Your sake, we'll suffer;
it's starting to be real,
as life is getting tougher.
So will You be my anchor?
Please give me Your strength.
I'm begging and I'm pleading-
I can't give, if You won't take.
What's the point in sowing seeds,
if they won't end up watered?
Sounding like relief-
those who for faith had become martyrs.
Don't know how to end well,
because it seems it's all just started;
Paul says, "to live is Christ-"
well I'd rather be departed.
Forgive me for my cynicism,
waving a flag that claims defeat;
not usually pessimistic,
but I'm lacking so much sleep.
Know I'm a broken wretch
that You could've just thrown out;
Instead You offered living water,
made my life a spout.
Remind me of Your goodness,
put me in my place;
fix me and restore me,
Lord refuel me with Your grace.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Collapse
Will You pick up the pieces
if I just fall apart?
Think I'm going to collapse-
for rest my soul is parched.
My body even aches,
I'm tired and I'm weak;
this exhaustion in my heart...
I think I've hit the peak.
Feel the need for an escape
in this calling, I'm alone;
find myself lost in my flesh
and calling it my home.
Depending on myself, not You
to get me through each day-
I incessantly grow faint
as I wish my time away...
I long for understanding,
in someone to confide-
But I hold back signs of weakness,
in bondage to my pride.
This feels like it's too heavy-
too high a price to pay;
This race is too severe-
finish line's so far away.
Can't get out of bed,
yet even there I cannot sleep;
After each long day of sowing seeds
no harvest yet to reap.
Comfort unattainable,
don't know what else to do
I reach, I cry, I ask-
yet still don't feel close to You.
Give me true perception,
genuine understanding of You.
I'm falling in deception,
desiring credit for what I do.
I'm sitting on the throne,
pushing You back onto the cross;
counting my life and ability as gain-
and all You offer, loss.
It wears hard on my soul
when I look to it for relief
it brings me to this breaking point
bound up in this grief.
Lord, I'm just so tired.
Rest is a long lost friend.
When will I find tranquility,
safe in Your hands again?
You say "Come to me, all who are weary
and I will give you rest;"
Lord, can I ask You to show me that,
put You to the test?
"Take my yoke upon you,
I am gentle and humble in heart,"
Have I not taken it upon me?
When does liberation start?
"For my yoke is easy
and my burden it is light."
You make it sound so simple,
yet I toss and turn all night.
I guess what I am saying-
I surrender yet again;
I know that I create a rift
when I live by my own plans.
But I want You and I need You
I have nothing left to give;
How can I go on and work,
when fatigue makes it hard to live?
Please come down and sweep me up,
save me from what I do.
At least do something through this rut
that brings glory back to You.
if I just fall apart?
Think I'm going to collapse-
for rest my soul is parched.
My body even aches,
I'm tired and I'm weak;
this exhaustion in my heart...
I think I've hit the peak.
Feel the need for an escape
in this calling, I'm alone;
find myself lost in my flesh
and calling it my home.
Depending on myself, not You
to get me through each day-
I incessantly grow faint
as I wish my time away...
I long for understanding,
in someone to confide-
But I hold back signs of weakness,
in bondage to my pride.
This feels like it's too heavy-
too high a price to pay;
This race is too severe-
finish line's so far away.
Can't get out of bed,
yet even there I cannot sleep;
After each long day of sowing seeds
no harvest yet to reap.
Comfort unattainable,
don't know what else to do
I reach, I cry, I ask-
yet still don't feel close to You.
Give me true perception,
genuine understanding of You.
I'm falling in deception,
desiring credit for what I do.
I'm sitting on the throne,
pushing You back onto the cross;
counting my life and ability as gain-
and all You offer, loss.
It wears hard on my soul
when I look to it for relief
it brings me to this breaking point
bound up in this grief.
Lord, I'm just so tired.
Rest is a long lost friend.
When will I find tranquility,
safe in Your hands again?
You say "Come to me, all who are weary
and I will give you rest;"
Lord, can I ask You to show me that,
put You to the test?
"Take my yoke upon you,
I am gentle and humble in heart,"
Have I not taken it upon me?
When does liberation start?
"For my yoke is easy
and my burden it is light."
You make it sound so simple,
yet I toss and turn all night.
I guess what I am saying-
I surrender yet again;
I know that I create a rift
when I live by my own plans.
But I want You and I need You
I have nothing left to give;
How can I go on and work,
when fatigue makes it hard to live?
Please come down and sweep me up,
save me from what I do.
At least do something through this rut
that brings glory back to You.
Monday, September 8, 2008
Vulnerability
Better to be guarded
than to give yourself away,
vulnerability is alluring
but she takes protection's place.
Sometimes she will soften you,
bring others to her arms;
but sometimes she will rob you-
til you're exposed and left unarmed.
I want to open up-
but will you find me captivating?
What if it's too much,
and instead you're left debating...
wondering if you really want me,
intrigued by this heart's depth;
or if you cannot handle it
and you have nothing left.
She's screaming deep within me
saying, "please just take my hand."
But who can take that on?
It requires quite a man.
But nothing hurts me worse
then when she's left out on the street;
feeling like she's not enough,
sinking in defeat.
Some tell her that she's worth it,
don't let this bring you down-
but why would she try to swim again,
when all she does is drown?
There's something that is gentle
and soothing in her voice,
but then she lets
the wrong ones in-
is it naivety or choice?
I want so bad to trust her,
but she always trips me up;
makes me so distracted,
feel I never measure up.
Her love affair with attention
is poison to my bones;
a fatal kind of attraction
that makes me feel alone.
So maybe I'll just lock her up,
throw away the key.
I'll miss her, and I'll mourn her
but then I'll be set free.
Free from the rejection,
and disappointment she attracts;
I'll lose all my emotion,
but logic I'll gain back.
Excitement fades away
but hurt will no longer visit;
an armor granting safety
of a heart once on exhibit
than to give yourself away,
vulnerability is alluring
but she takes protection's place.
Sometimes she will soften you,
bring others to her arms;
but sometimes she will rob you-
til you're exposed and left unarmed.
I want to open up-
but will you find me captivating?
What if it's too much,
and instead you're left debating...
wondering if you really want me,
intrigued by this heart's depth;
or if you cannot handle it
and you have nothing left.
She's screaming deep within me
saying, "please just take my hand."
But who can take that on?
It requires quite a man.
But nothing hurts me worse
then when she's left out on the street;
feeling like she's not enough,
sinking in defeat.
Some tell her that she's worth it,
don't let this bring you down-
but why would she try to swim again,
when all she does is drown?
There's something that is gentle
and soothing in her voice,
but then she lets
the wrong ones in-
is it naivety or choice?
I want so bad to trust her,
but she always trips me up;
makes me so distracted,
feel I never measure up.
Her love affair with attention
is poison to my bones;
a fatal kind of attraction
that makes me feel alone.
So maybe I'll just lock her up,
throw away the key.
I'll miss her, and I'll mourn her
but then I'll be set free.
Free from the rejection,
and disappointment she attracts;
I'll lose all my emotion,
but logic I'll gain back.
Excitement fades away
but hurt will no longer visit;
an armor granting safety
of a heart once on exhibit
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Why do I run?
Desperate for You
anxious for help
yet right now I don't want to ask;
For I know what I did
and from truth I hid
to bondage I turned and went back.
I was stupid and selfish,
indulged in my pride
"carefree!" I said that I was;
But now there's a distance
a gap in between
as my sinfulness separates us.
You tell me to come near
but I'm staying right here
complaining that I cannot do this;
Like a child I cry
hands covering my eyes
stubbornness dragging me through this.
How many mistakes
how many times
will I ignore what I said I would do?
How much brokenness
and how many tears
must I shed before turning to You?
Why do I run
just want to have fun
when destruction lies in its path?
Why don't I see
that You're beckoning me
sheltering me from Your wrath?
Too tired to let go
don't want to give in
yet I know that it's making me dim;
Paint a smile on my face
quote Matthew 6:25
tell others to "just trust in Him."
When the smile is gone
I'm here all alone
wondering what I can do;
Wallow in worry
embrace fear and lies
trying to steer clear of You.
Why do You reach out
with compassion and love
to someone as selfish as me?
When I jump into quicksand
aware of myself
You refuse the ruin of me.
Now I feel worse
knowing You care
and I cheapen the price of Your grace;
Teach me Your ways
move me and change me
that I would seek after Your face.
anxious for help
yet right now I don't want to ask;
For I know what I did
and from truth I hid
to bondage I turned and went back.
I was stupid and selfish,
indulged in my pride
"carefree!" I said that I was;
But now there's a distance
a gap in between
as my sinfulness separates us.
You tell me to come near
but I'm staying right here
complaining that I cannot do this;
Like a child I cry
hands covering my eyes
stubbornness dragging me through this.
How many mistakes
how many times
will I ignore what I said I would do?
How much brokenness
and how many tears
must I shed before turning to You?
Why do I run
just want to have fun
when destruction lies in its path?
Why don't I see
that You're beckoning me
sheltering me from Your wrath?
Too tired to let go
don't want to give in
yet I know that it's making me dim;
Paint a smile on my face
quote Matthew 6:25
tell others to "just trust in Him."
When the smile is gone
I'm here all alone
wondering what I can do;
Wallow in worry
embrace fear and lies
trying to steer clear of You.
Why do You reach out
with compassion and love
to someone as selfish as me?
When I jump into quicksand
aware of myself
You refuse the ruin of me.
Now I feel worse
knowing You care
and I cheapen the price of Your grace;
Teach me Your ways
move me and change me
that I would seek after Your face.
The 5 Stages to Becoming a Coffee Drinker
I am sure that there are some people in the world who like the taste of a cup of coffee from the day they leave the womb. For the rest of us, however, it doesn't happen quite so quickly.
I was hanging out with my roommate Lauren a couple of days ago, when we stopped by the coffee shop across the street from our adorable little cottage in Carrboro for a morning cup of joe (cup of life, if you're like me...) I was surprised when Lauren bought a cup of coffee, because she normally does not partake in the morning brewing of coffee that Emily (my other roommate) and I participate in daily. Lauren explained that she has just recently started liking coffee from coffee shops, like Caribou or Starbucks, but she does not yet like home brewed coffee.
If you know me, you know how my brain works- this got me thinking. I thought back to my own process of becoming a coffee drinker. And here's what I discovered: there are usually 5 stages to becoming a coffee drinker. Let me enlighten you:
Stage 1: MochaLatteFrappucino
The first stage to becoming a coffee drinker is enjoying the fancy coffee mixed drinks: you know, the double whipped, caramel, chocolate, triple chunk mocha latte frappuchinos or what have you. You like to have a little bit of coffee with your sugar. Now, we all know that the mochalattefrappuchino drinkers are not yet real coffee drinkers- but they are getting their feet wet, as they are introduced to the wonderful flavor of coffee...
Stage 2: "Small Coffee with a shot of flavor please"
You know when a person has crossed over the 1st threshold and into the 2nd stage of becoming a coffee drinker, when they start saving money because they are no longer ordering the fancy dessert drinks. Instead of $5, their new drink of choice at Caribou costs them $2.10. $1.55 for a small cup of coffee, $.55 for a shot of flavor. And don't forget to add lots of cream and sugar! This person has begun to cross the line from faux-coffee drinker, to typical American that has to get up early in the morning...
At this stage, you are starting to get used to "coffee language." Your order may sound something like this, "I would like a skinny, light roast with room please." (translation: I would like a non-fat, light coffee blend with room for cream)
Stage 3: Warming up
In the 3rd stage to becoming a coffee drinker, the person no longer pays the $.55 extra for a shot of flavor in their coffee. They order a regular coffee- likely still adding a good amount of cream & sugar. This is the stage my roommate Lauren is at. You might be asking yourself, "why is this person not a full fledged coffee drinker yet? They're drinking regular coffee now." The difference, my friends, is that the person in the "Warming up" stage, will only order coffee every now and then, and they do not brew their own. It is not vital for them to get through their day, and they wouldn't know quite what to do with a coffee filter. They are simply warming up to the fact that coffee is goooooood.
Stage 4: Lifeline
When a person has crossed the bridge from Warming up to coffee, to coffee becoming something that they rely on- you know that they have become a true coffee drinker. The lifeline stage is when a person starts to drink coffee every morning- home brewed. When you need a Thermos to take coffee with you on the go, or you start to have your 2 favorite coffee mugs that you interchangeably drink from each morning, and you can't possibly imagine your life without it- you are probably a Lifeline coffee drinker.
Stage 5: Straight UP
The 5th and final stage to becoming a coffee drinker, is when you drink your coffee black. Straight up. You think that cream & sugar are for kids. You enjoy the bitter taste of coffee with no enhancements. You consider mochalattefrappuchinos to be coffee on steroids. You pity those who doctor up their coffee, b/c though you may never admit this aloud, you secretly think you are just a little bit better than they are...
At this stage, it is likely that you will drink any kind of coffee from anywhere if you are desperate. If it comes down to a dinky gas station in nowheresville, North Dakota that looks like it still lives in the 1940s- you don't care. If you have no other access to coffee- you'll take it.
It is also at this stage that you may have to brew an entire pot of coffee in the morning, so that you can take it with you during the day with a thermostat- refilling your coffee mug throughout your workday.
*Disclaimer: my disclaimer to this theory, is that there are always exceptions. Like I said, some may be born loving coffee. Some people may skip a stage or two in their journey to becoming a coffee drinker. However, based on observation and pure genius- I believe that this can be assumed to be the general process to becoming a coffee drinker.
I was hanging out with my roommate Lauren a couple of days ago, when we stopped by the coffee shop across the street from our adorable little cottage in Carrboro for a morning cup of joe (cup of life, if you're like me...) I was surprised when Lauren bought a cup of coffee, because she normally does not partake in the morning brewing of coffee that Emily (my other roommate) and I participate in daily. Lauren explained that she has just recently started liking coffee from coffee shops, like Caribou or Starbucks, but she does not yet like home brewed coffee.
If you know me, you know how my brain works- this got me thinking. I thought back to my own process of becoming a coffee drinker. And here's what I discovered: there are usually 5 stages to becoming a coffee drinker. Let me enlighten you:
Stage 1: MochaLatteFrappucino
The first stage to becoming a coffee drinker is enjoying the fancy coffee mixed drinks: you know, the double whipped, caramel, chocolate, triple chunk mocha latte frappuchinos or what have you. You like to have a little bit of coffee with your sugar. Now, we all know that the mochalattefrappuchino drinkers are not yet real coffee drinkers- but they are getting their feet wet, as they are introduced to the wonderful flavor of coffee...
Stage 2: "Small Coffee with a shot of flavor please"
You know when a person has crossed over the 1st threshold and into the 2nd stage of becoming a coffee drinker, when they start saving money because they are no longer ordering the fancy dessert drinks. Instead of $5, their new drink of choice at Caribou costs them $2.10. $1.55 for a small cup of coffee, $.55 for a shot of flavor. And don't forget to add lots of cream and sugar! This person has begun to cross the line from faux-coffee drinker, to typical American that has to get up early in the morning...
At this stage, you are starting to get used to "coffee language." Your order may sound something like this, "I would like a skinny, light roast with room please." (translation: I would like a non-fat, light coffee blend with room for cream)
Stage 3: Warming up
In the 3rd stage to becoming a coffee drinker, the person no longer pays the $.55 extra for a shot of flavor in their coffee. They order a regular coffee- likely still adding a good amount of cream & sugar. This is the stage my roommate Lauren is at. You might be asking yourself, "why is this person not a full fledged coffee drinker yet? They're drinking regular coffee now." The difference, my friends, is that the person in the "Warming up" stage, will only order coffee every now and then, and they do not brew their own. It is not vital for them to get through their day, and they wouldn't know quite what to do with a coffee filter. They are simply warming up to the fact that coffee is goooooood.
Stage 4: Lifeline
When a person has crossed the bridge from Warming up to coffee, to coffee becoming something that they rely on- you know that they have become a true coffee drinker. The lifeline stage is when a person starts to drink coffee every morning- home brewed. When you need a Thermos to take coffee with you on the go, or you start to have your 2 favorite coffee mugs that you interchangeably drink from each morning, and you can't possibly imagine your life without it- you are probably a Lifeline coffee drinker.
Stage 5: Straight UP
The 5th and final stage to becoming a coffee drinker, is when you drink your coffee black. Straight up. You think that cream & sugar are for kids. You enjoy the bitter taste of coffee with no enhancements. You consider mochalattefrappuchinos to be coffee on steroids. You pity those who doctor up their coffee, b/c though you may never admit this aloud, you secretly think you are just a little bit better than they are...
At this stage, it is likely that you will drink any kind of coffee from anywhere if you are desperate. If it comes down to a dinky gas station in nowheresville, North Dakota that looks like it still lives in the 1940s- you don't care. If you have no other access to coffee- you'll take it.
It is also at this stage that you may have to brew an entire pot of coffee in the morning, so that you can take it with you during the day with a thermostat- refilling your coffee mug throughout your workday.
*Disclaimer: my disclaimer to this theory, is that there are always exceptions. Like I said, some may be born loving coffee. Some people may skip a stage or two in their journey to becoming a coffee drinker. However, based on observation and pure genius- I believe that this can be assumed to be the general process to becoming a coffee drinker.
Monday, August 18, 2008
Frozen Compassion
In a world full of wolves that are after my flesh,
I am finding it hard to survive;
fighting to grasp to Your promise,
the claim You have laid on my life.
But why must I carry this burden?
Knowing those who may never
know You?
I beg for Your Spirit to move them;
there's not much else I can do.
My eyes grow weak with sorrow,
my soul and body with grief;1
for those that I know chasing idols-
from their bondage they have no relief.
Broken and crushed in this anguish
as lost sheep around me just laugh;
indulging in lies
that are making them drown,
unaware sin requires your wrath.
Is this how you felt on the cross?
at your side, a man who would die.
when you offered forgiveness
he scoffed and refused,
never to see paradise.2
How did you bear that great burden?
watching eternity slip through his hands?
I trust Your heart and Your will God,
but how could this be in Your plan?
I want to speak of Your name,
but my lips seem to be frozen shut;
how do I explain in once instance,
all that Your mercy has done?
But compassion in me only matters,
if it's translated into action.
Your truth holds infinite freedom
help me proclaim it, Lord, with a passion.
Since You are my Rock and my Fortress
for the sake of Your name
lead and guide me;
Redeem me, O LORD, God of truth,
from the traps that are set all around me.3
Seems impossible that You would use me-
I, who am but ashes and dust;
but souls all around me are dying of thirst
so press on for the gospel I must.
Hold galaxies in place with Your power,
yet You number the hairs on my head;4
You watch every sparrow that falls,
yet sustain me as my daily bread.5
I can't understand how You work Lord,
Your thoughts are far greater than mine;
but I know that You humbled Yourself
to Your death
to make wretched sinners Your prize.
Do I tremble and quake in Your presence?
Wish I could say that I do;
I wonder how small and how skewed, Lord;
how weak my perception is of You...
Will You take this day and ordain it?
Make me a vessel for You.
A conduit of Your sovereign grace,
molded jar of clay You can use.6
Show me what I can say Lord,
that glory be brought to Your name;
teach me more of who You are,
that my life may speak of Your fame.
1 Psalm 31:9
2 Luke 23
3 Psalm 31:3-5
4 Luke 12:7
5 Deut. 8:3
6 2 Cor. 4:7
I am finding it hard to survive;
fighting to grasp to Your promise,
the claim You have laid on my life.
But why must I carry this burden?
Knowing those who may never
know You?
I beg for Your Spirit to move them;
there's not much else I can do.
My eyes grow weak with sorrow,
my soul and body with grief;1
for those that I know chasing idols-
from their bondage they have no relief.
Broken and crushed in this anguish
as lost sheep around me just laugh;
indulging in lies
that are making them drown,
unaware sin requires your wrath.
Is this how you felt on the cross?
at your side, a man who would die.
when you offered forgiveness
he scoffed and refused,
never to see paradise.2
How did you bear that great burden?
watching eternity slip through his hands?
I trust Your heart and Your will God,
but how could this be in Your plan?
I want to speak of Your name,
but my lips seem to be frozen shut;
how do I explain in once instance,
all that Your mercy has done?
But compassion in me only matters,
if it's translated into action.
Your truth holds infinite freedom
help me proclaim it, Lord, with a passion.
Since You are my Rock and my Fortress
for the sake of Your name
lead and guide me;
Redeem me, O LORD, God of truth,
from the traps that are set all around me.3
Seems impossible that You would use me-
I, who am but ashes and dust;
but souls all around me are dying of thirst
so press on for the gospel I must.
Hold galaxies in place with Your power,
yet You number the hairs on my head;4
You watch every sparrow that falls,
yet sustain me as my daily bread.5
I can't understand how You work Lord,
Your thoughts are far greater than mine;
but I know that You humbled Yourself
to Your death
to make wretched sinners Your prize.
Do I tremble and quake in Your presence?
Wish I could say that I do;
I wonder how small and how skewed, Lord;
how weak my perception is of You...
Will You take this day and ordain it?
Make me a vessel for You.
A conduit of Your sovereign grace,
molded jar of clay You can use.6
Show me what I can say Lord,
that glory be brought to Your name;
teach me more of who You are,
that my life may speak of Your fame.
1 Psalm 31:9
2 Luke 23
3 Psalm 31:3-5
4 Luke 12:7
5 Deut. 8:3
6 2 Cor. 4:7
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Chariots of Fire
I feel so small and worthless
In this calling that You gave;
I feel like I can’t do this-
can’t hold it all in place.
I wish I weren’t so little
next to giants that surround me.
I need some help-
a stool or stilts,
a lift so I can see.
At times I just don’t get it-
why did You choose this path?
I don’t have much to offer-
so much in which I lack.
You’ve made it clear I need this,
and You’ve called me to this life;
but incompetence defines me
All I am cannot suffice.
A mountain stands before me
but I have no hiking gear;
You say You’ve gone before me,
but I don’t see You here.
How do I climb this mountain
when I am not equipped?
What if I miss a step or two-
what if I fall or slip?
Did David ever feel this-
standing in Goliath’s wrath?
With one small stone
He won the fight-
God’s glory showed its path.
Supposed to be a leader-
yet I’m terrified and shy.
I feel alone,
can’t look ahead,
as I often wonder why…
Why do You look upon me
with favor in Your eyes?
Why did you come after me-
redeem my sinful life?
Why do you even bother?
So much patience with my will;
As I’m stubbornly resisting
The grace You give me still.
Surrender is all I have to do,
cannot embrace this depth.
You tell me it’s ok I’m weak-
alright that I’m inept.
You are exceedingly stronger
than any living man;
and You will show Your majesty
as through my life You work Your plan.
Though I don’t see You beside me
You promise You are there,
open my eyes so I can see-
Lord, take away my fear.
This blindness is distracting me
from the life to which I aspire,
Will You open my eyes
so I can see
the Chariots of fire?
Because You are fighting for me
each and every day;
I need to acknowledge that this is true,
need to hit my knees and pray.
Then I will find a peaceful heart
as anxiety dissolves;
You are my Rock, my Fortress-
Lord, You are my All in All.
"He said, 'do not be afraid, for those who are with us are more than those who are with them.' Then Elisha prayed and said, 'O LORD, please open his eyes that he may see.' So the LORD opened the eyes of the young man, and he say, and behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha." -2 Kings 6:16-17
"Moses said to the LORD, 'You have been telling me, 'lead these people,' but You have not let me know whom You will send with me. You have said, 'I know you by name and you have found favor with me.' If You are pleased with me, teach me Your ways so I may know You and continue to find favor with You. Remember that this nation is Your people.' The LORD replied, 'My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.'"
In this calling that You gave;
I feel like I can’t do this-
can’t hold it all in place.
I wish I weren’t so little
next to giants that surround me.
I need some help-
a stool or stilts,
a lift so I can see.
At times I just don’t get it-
why did You choose this path?
I don’t have much to offer-
so much in which I lack.
You’ve made it clear I need this,
and You’ve called me to this life;
but incompetence defines me
All I am cannot suffice.
A mountain stands before me
but I have no hiking gear;
You say You’ve gone before me,
but I don’t see You here.
How do I climb this mountain
when I am not equipped?
What if I miss a step or two-
what if I fall or slip?
Did David ever feel this-
standing in Goliath’s wrath?
With one small stone
He won the fight-
God’s glory showed its path.
Supposed to be a leader-
yet I’m terrified and shy.
I feel alone,
can’t look ahead,
as I often wonder why…
Why do You look upon me
with favor in Your eyes?
Why did you come after me-
redeem my sinful life?
Why do you even bother?
So much patience with my will;
As I’m stubbornly resisting
The grace You give me still.
Surrender is all I have to do,
cannot embrace this depth.
You tell me it’s ok I’m weak-
alright that I’m inept.
You are exceedingly stronger
than any living man;
and You will show Your majesty
as through my life You work Your plan.
Though I don’t see You beside me
You promise You are there,
open my eyes so I can see-
Lord, take away my fear.
This blindness is distracting me
from the life to which I aspire,
Will You open my eyes
so I can see
the Chariots of fire?
Because You are fighting for me
each and every day;
I need to acknowledge that this is true,
need to hit my knees and pray.
Then I will find a peaceful heart
as anxiety dissolves;
You are my Rock, my Fortress-
Lord, You are my All in All.
"He said, 'do not be afraid, for those who are with us are more than those who are with them.' Then Elisha prayed and said, 'O LORD, please open his eyes that he may see.' So the LORD opened the eyes of the young man, and he say, and behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha." -2 Kings 6:16-17
"Moses said to the LORD, 'You have been telling me, 'lead these people,' but You have not let me know whom You will send with me. You have said, 'I know you by name and you have found favor with me.' If You are pleased with me, teach me Your ways so I may know You and continue to find favor with You. Remember that this nation is Your people.' The LORD replied, 'My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.'"
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Apathetic Deception
I feel it seeping in
as if it's trying to take over;
I want to live a stainless life
but I push conviction over.
I say I want to live for You,
my days a sacrifice;
but the world, she sneers and laughs at me-
works to seductively entice.
Bathing in deception,
Swimming in an ocean of lies;
Meaningless propriety,
Dressed in glitter disguise.
A sense and feeling of power,
As if I rule it all;
I’m VIP- move over,
As my morals start to fall.
Wish I could describe it as a battle,
As if I want to fight and win it;
But though a conscience in existence,
I’m remaining apathetic.
In it, but not of it-
Is that how I’m supposed to live?
How can I hate it, if I love it?
Feel like something’s gotta give.
Seems twisted and confusing
This reality we live in.
Claim that I rely on prayer,
But so easily I give in.
Wish I was turned off at this,
Angry at my sin;
But really I don’t care right now,
Entertaining thoughts within.
They tell me that I’m worth it,
Deserve attention I desire;
Whisper dark mendacity,
Deceit that I admire.
Will truth expose my foolishness-
From which I wish I would retire?
Somewhere deep down in my heart,
Don’t I long for something higher?
King Solomon in all his wisdom,
In Ecclesiastes tells me:
He chased after all the world to find
Nothing on earth holds value in eternity.
“I denied myself nothing my eyes desired;
I refused my heart no pleasure.
My heart took delight in all my work,
Their profit was my treasure.
And this was the reward for all my labor,
When I surveyed all my hands had done,
Everything was chasing after the wind,
Nothing gained under the sun.”
as if it's trying to take over;
I want to live a stainless life
but I push conviction over.
I say I want to live for You,
my days a sacrifice;
but the world, she sneers and laughs at me-
works to seductively entice.
Bathing in deception,
Swimming in an ocean of lies;
Meaningless propriety,
Dressed in glitter disguise.
A sense and feeling of power,
As if I rule it all;
I’m VIP- move over,
As my morals start to fall.
Wish I could describe it as a battle,
As if I want to fight and win it;
But though a conscience in existence,
I’m remaining apathetic.
In it, but not of it-
Is that how I’m supposed to live?
How can I hate it, if I love it?
Feel like something’s gotta give.
Seems twisted and confusing
This reality we live in.
Claim that I rely on prayer,
But so easily I give in.
Wish I was turned off at this,
Angry at my sin;
But really I don’t care right now,
Entertaining thoughts within.
They tell me that I’m worth it,
Deserve attention I desire;
Whisper dark mendacity,
Deceit that I admire.
Will truth expose my foolishness-
From which I wish I would retire?
Somewhere deep down in my heart,
Don’t I long for something higher?
King Solomon in all his wisdom,
In Ecclesiastes tells me:
He chased after all the world to find
Nothing on earth holds value in eternity.
“I denied myself nothing my eyes desired;
I refused my heart no pleasure.
My heart took delight in all my work,
Their profit was my treasure.
And this was the reward for all my labor,
When I surveyed all my hands had done,
Everything was chasing after the wind,
Nothing gained under the sun.”
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
A Woman's Battle: What is Beauty?
I just want to be real,
who You designed me to be.
Lord I want to be something
surpassing a fading beauty.
I want them to stop-
these lies surrounding me,
so easily they sneak in
corrupting my body
They say I have to be perfect
Skinny. Tall. Flawless.
But is it all worth it?
Seeking after a prize
that cannot be attained;
"Mirror, mirror on the wall..."
but could I ever really be
the fairest of them all?
She smile's up at me
from the front page of my magazine.
Her teeth are white and straight,
but through them she lies to me.
"Try harder. You can't afford
to slow down."
So I speed up on the treadmill,
wipe the sweat off my brow.
I want to cry.
But I've got to be tough.
If I don't try real hard,
I may not be enough.
The world is fierce
and my heart longs for love;
but glance back at her image
and I don't measure up.
"Lord!" I cry out,
as emotions erupt.
5'9. Size 2. Rock hard abs.
Long hair. Great curves. Perfect smile.
I want everything she has.
She still stares at me from the cover.
5'1. Size 2. Not so perfect.
I stare at myself in the mirror.
This vanity disgusts me,
but I cannot get away
and loathing in self pity
seems my only escape.
Created in Your image
yet I bargain still with shame;
a goddess made of vapor
-and idol in Your place.
A gentleness presses on my heart
tells me it will be alright;
starts girding me with armor
helping me in this fight.
"You hem me in, behind and before,
and lay your hand upon me."
"You formed my inward parts.
In my mother's womb You knit me."
"I praise You for I am fearfully
and wonderfully made."
"For physical training is of some value
but godliness has value for all things,
holding promise for both
the present life, and the life to come."
Then strength rises within me
insecurities suppressed,
I breathe a sigh of relief
as I collapse in this rest.
He made me, and He's known me,
He called me to be His;
fights my battles with His sword
when I'm breaking down like this.
I don't know why He loves me
but His love will never die;
He paid the highest cost for me,
giving me His life.
What is beauty?
The world tells me
that after it, I must run.
But truth says that beauty comes
from the One I love.
He fervently pursued me,
covered me with grace;
when I think about Him
can't wipe this smile off my face =)
What am I chasing after,
that He cannot give to me?
Forgive me for my vain pursuit,
from these chains Lord, set me free.
I offer You my body-
in Your image, that's been made
with it I will serve You,
Your name on it engraved.
For, "charm is deceitful
and beauty is in vain,
but a woman who fears the Lord,
she shall be praised."
who You designed me to be.
Lord I want to be something
surpassing a fading beauty.
I want them to stop-
these lies surrounding me,
so easily they sneak in
corrupting my body
They say I have to be perfect
Skinny. Tall. Flawless.
But is it all worth it?
Seeking after a prize
that cannot be attained;
"Mirror, mirror on the wall..."
but could I ever really be
the fairest of them all?
She smile's up at me
from the front page of my magazine.
Her teeth are white and straight,
but through them she lies to me.
"Try harder. You can't afford
to slow down."
So I speed up on the treadmill,
wipe the sweat off my brow.
I want to cry.
But I've got to be tough.
If I don't try real hard,
I may not be enough.
The world is fierce
and my heart longs for love;
but glance back at her image
and I don't measure up.
"Lord!" I cry out,
as emotions erupt.
5'9. Size 2. Rock hard abs.
Long hair. Great curves. Perfect smile.
I want everything she has.
She still stares at me from the cover.
5'1. Size 2. Not so perfect.
I stare at myself in the mirror.
This vanity disgusts me,
but I cannot get away
and loathing in self pity
seems my only escape.
Created in Your image
yet I bargain still with shame;
a goddess made of vapor
-and idol in Your place.
A gentleness presses on my heart
tells me it will be alright;
starts girding me with armor
helping me in this fight.
"You hem me in, behind and before,
and lay your hand upon me."
"You formed my inward parts.
In my mother's womb You knit me."
"I praise You for I am fearfully
and wonderfully made."
"For physical training is of some value
but godliness has value for all things,
holding promise for both
the present life, and the life to come."
Then strength rises within me
insecurities suppressed,
I breathe a sigh of relief
as I collapse in this rest.
He made me, and He's known me,
He called me to be His;
fights my battles with His sword
when I'm breaking down like this.
I don't know why He loves me
but His love will never die;
He paid the highest cost for me,
giving me His life.
What is beauty?
The world tells me
that after it, I must run.
But truth says that beauty comes
from the One I love.
He fervently pursued me,
covered me with grace;
when I think about Him
can't wipe this smile off my face =)
What am I chasing after,
that He cannot give to me?
Forgive me for my vain pursuit,
from these chains Lord, set me free.
I offer You my body-
in Your image, that's been made
with it I will serve You,
Your name on it engraved.
For, "charm is deceitful
and beauty is in vain,
but a woman who fears the Lord,
she shall be praised."
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Road to Righteousness
*Inspired from the book of Ruth...quite possibly my favorite book of the Bible.
With the map of the world
I’ve set out on a quest,
Where can one find
The road to righteousness?
I’ve treaded thick water
But this sin holds me down
Gasped for fresh air
But I’m starting to drown
A life of mediocrity
Is what I’d settled for;
Eating mud pies for meals,
And sleeping on the floor.
A longing for romance-
To be swept off my feet
Waiting for prince charming,
When will we meet?
But I can’t do much better
Then what I’ve got now
On the same piece of land
I’ll keep pulling this plow.
Left and forgotten;
Widowed, bemoaned
I’m searching for something,
But I can’t find the road.
Hope is a companion
That I no longer know
Spend my days reaping barley
And bringing it home.
Then faith found a voice
And chance caused a stir
Directing me to proceed
Down to the threshing floor.
“Lie at his feet,
Humble yourself.
There’s a kinsman redeemer,
He can offer you help!”
Vulnerability,
Found beauty with
Forgiveness;
My whole heart as an offering
I couldn’t give less.
I can engage this grace;
Or keep step with the rest;
But I think I have found
The road to righteousness.
The fairy tale I had longed for
Pales in comparison to this;
He delivered me from poverty;
Established me as rich.
I don’t deserve Your mercy
So all You say I will do,
Forever consecrated,
Sanctified in You.
Now I have this promise-
I am His and He is mine.
For my life has been bought
With the precious blood of Christ.
So dear friend, if you hunger
For a life that’s more than this;
Leave your life of ordinary
And take this humble risk.
Opening His arms,
Victory and power already His;
God’s one and only Son
Paved the road to righteousness.
With the map of the world
I’ve set out on a quest,
Where can one find
The road to righteousness?
I’ve treaded thick water
But this sin holds me down
Gasped for fresh air
But I’m starting to drown
A life of mediocrity
Is what I’d settled for;
Eating mud pies for meals,
And sleeping on the floor.
A longing for romance-
To be swept off my feet
Waiting for prince charming,
When will we meet?
But I can’t do much better
Then what I’ve got now
On the same piece of land
I’ll keep pulling this plow.
Left and forgotten;
Widowed, bemoaned
I’m searching for something,
But I can’t find the road.
Hope is a companion
That I no longer know
Spend my days reaping barley
And bringing it home.
Then faith found a voice
And chance caused a stir
Directing me to proceed
Down to the threshing floor.
“Lie at his feet,
Humble yourself.
There’s a kinsman redeemer,
He can offer you help!”
Vulnerability,
Found beauty with
Forgiveness;
My whole heart as an offering
I couldn’t give less.
I can engage this grace;
Or keep step with the rest;
But I think I have found
The road to righteousness.
The fairy tale I had longed for
Pales in comparison to this;
He delivered me from poverty;
Established me as rich.
I don’t deserve Your mercy
So all You say I will do,
Forever consecrated,
Sanctified in You.
Now I have this promise-
I am His and He is mine.
For my life has been bought
With the precious blood of Christ.
So dear friend, if you hunger
For a life that’s more than this;
Leave your life of ordinary
And take this humble risk.
Opening His arms,
Victory and power already His;
God’s one and only Son
Paved the road to righteousness.
Walls
I think I’ve learned to mend my heart
With just glue and duct tape
Disappointment has struck its inmost parts;
Its wholeness has been raped.
You wonder why I build these walls
With brick and cement blocks;
But against strong storms
I must survive,
I need a solid rock.
What happens when a woman’s heart
For love anticipating,
Is told that it is not enough,
She’s wasted her time waiting?
This pain should not be present now
Forget the past once dated;
But these wounds and lies they still exist
Deep embedded and ingrained in-
The very makings of my heart
You may have found alluring;
But I wonder if they still exist
What is left you may find boring
I hate this world with all its lies
So simple and deceiving;
Take advantage of one’s hopefulness
Manipulate it to disbelieving.
Use me and abuse me
Stain me with your sin;
Then act like it didn’t happen
In front of others, just pretend.
So now they look down on me
Crediting me for what you did;
But you didn’t want to take the blame
So in your shame you hid.
The earth’s weight on my shoulders
Decisions must be made
Can’t I just be a young girl again?
Back in the 1st grade?
When I didn’t know what reality was
Where all I did was smile;
Sometimes I go there in my dreams
And rest there for awhile.
I just can’t do this on my own
Life’s a game I cannot win
Praise God I hear His loving voice
Beckoning me again.
“Come to me my beautiful child,
Let me hold you in my arms.
You know I want what’s best for you,
I’ll keep you safe from harm.
And with these trials
And inward storms-
Open your eyes, awake!
I’m transforming you more
Into the likeness of my Son
It’s all for my Name’s sake.”
With just glue and duct tape
Disappointment has struck its inmost parts;
Its wholeness has been raped.
You wonder why I build these walls
With brick and cement blocks;
But against strong storms
I must survive,
I need a solid rock.
What happens when a woman’s heart
For love anticipating,
Is told that it is not enough,
She’s wasted her time waiting?
This pain should not be present now
Forget the past once dated;
But these wounds and lies they still exist
Deep embedded and ingrained in-
The very makings of my heart
You may have found alluring;
But I wonder if they still exist
What is left you may find boring
I hate this world with all its lies
So simple and deceiving;
Take advantage of one’s hopefulness
Manipulate it to disbelieving.
Use me and abuse me
Stain me with your sin;
Then act like it didn’t happen
In front of others, just pretend.
So now they look down on me
Crediting me for what you did;
But you didn’t want to take the blame
So in your shame you hid.
The earth’s weight on my shoulders
Decisions must be made
Can’t I just be a young girl again?
Back in the 1st grade?
When I didn’t know what reality was
Where all I did was smile;
Sometimes I go there in my dreams
And rest there for awhile.
I just can’t do this on my own
Life’s a game I cannot win
Praise God I hear His loving voice
Beckoning me again.
“Come to me my beautiful child,
Let me hold you in my arms.
You know I want what’s best for you,
I’ll keep you safe from harm.
And with these trials
And inward storms-
Open your eyes, awake!
I’m transforming you more
Into the likeness of my Son
It’s all for my Name’s sake.”
A Woman's Heart
Tell me that I’m beautiful
Even if it’s not true;
I’m looking for my worth right now
Can it be found in you?
Tell me that you love me
Even if it’s through clenched teeth;
The silence now is deafening
I need some rest and peace.
Tell me that you need me
Like this drought needs the rain;
Hold me tight and kiss me
Take away this pain.
Tell me you’ll protect me
And always keep me safe;
That even for one day with me
You’d do whatever it takes.
Tell me that you want me
Like a traveler wants his home;
Look at me with loving eyes
Don’t let me be alone.
Tell me that I am enough
No other girl will do;
And your life was once forever changed
The day that I met you.
Tell me it’s forever
That you’re always here to stay;
Tell me you’ll come after me
If I ever run away.
Tell me that I’m beautiful
I need those words from you;
My heart is in your hands right now
Be careful what you do.
Even if it’s not true;
I’m looking for my worth right now
Can it be found in you?
Tell me that you love me
Even if it’s through clenched teeth;
The silence now is deafening
I need some rest and peace.
Tell me that you need me
Like this drought needs the rain;
Hold me tight and kiss me
Take away this pain.
Tell me you’ll protect me
And always keep me safe;
That even for one day with me
You’d do whatever it takes.
Tell me that you want me
Like a traveler wants his home;
Look at me with loving eyes
Don’t let me be alone.
Tell me that I am enough
No other girl will do;
And your life was once forever changed
The day that I met you.
Tell me it’s forever
That you’re always here to stay;
Tell me you’ll come after me
If I ever run away.
Tell me that I’m beautiful
I need those words from you;
My heart is in your hands right now
Be careful what you do.
You Brought Me Home
In Chains there I was
Surrounded by cold and emptiness
sharp pains of hunger
carrying a world of heaviness
It was the place that for so long I had known
It just seemed easier
So I called it home.
Giving myself away
Into slavery I sold my soul
Did I not see that I was settling?
But I thought it was home.
thought if I was being used,
then I was wanted in some way.
I looked like everyone else,
but then they'd walk away.
Looking in the mirror
"I just have to try harder," I'd say.
I would always chase after them
but I was never enough
so I'd swallow the rejection
and convince myself I was tough.
Broken and shattered;
weary and alone
that's when I first realized
there's no way this was home.
I hit my knees, drowning in tears
I know I'm not supposed to
live life in fear.
But I'd gone too far, crossed the line
How could I expect You
to come back this time?
I had known You once,
and drank of Your love
But then I told You
that You weren't enough.
I didn't want to listen,
so I ran away.
Now I'm bitter and thirsty,
covered in shame.
Too far away
to reach for your throne
And I sure don't deserve it
So this has to be home.
Though it's hard and it's dark
and I feel so alone.
That's when You whispered
Your voice pierced the dark
"Arise my love, my beautiful one,
and come away,
for behold, the winter is past;
the rain is over and gone."
Rising slowly from the ashes
held by Your nail scarred hands
You allured me into the wilderness
and showed me Your land.
Then holding me tightly,
in the most tender tone
You said to me "My child,
I am bringing you home."
When I looked at Your heavens
the moon and stars You set in place;
I glanced at You sadly,
"You have made a mistake."
For I had turned to other gods
and loved the world's raisin cakes.
What am I that you would be mindful of me?
Who am I that you should care and love me?
So I tried to run
for that's all I know
But this time You held me
and didn't let go
speaking so softly, "beloved, thisis your home.
I am your Rock and your Fortress,
lay your head on My chest."
You showed me Who You are
and in You I found rest.
To escape Your presence- where can I go?
Forgive me my Father
for running from home.
You never stopped loving me
though I denied You were there;
How can I thank you for rescuing me
and bringing me here?
A life of obedience
is all I can give
You make up for what I lack
in this new life I live.
Now I sit in Your warmth,
still holding Your hand
but my heart breaks for those
who don't understand.
There are so many others
that are just like me
"Lord, won't you unveil their eyes?
Why can't they see?"
Looking into His loving, pain-filled face
I see that He knows,
and wants to show them His grace.
"Beloved, I will show you what to do
and where to go.
You must go and tell them
of how I brought you home."
For the rest of my days,
Lord this is what I will do
I will go to the nations,
making disciples for You.
Because Your blood was shed,
I labor not in vain.
You've already defeated the cross
that carries the world's pain.
And I know that You are with me
wherever I shall go
Until the sweet sweet day
I forever return home.
Surrounded by cold and emptiness
sharp pains of hunger
carrying a world of heaviness
It was the place that for so long I had known
It just seemed easier
So I called it home.
Giving myself away
Into slavery I sold my soul
Did I not see that I was settling?
But I thought it was home.
thought if I was being used,
then I was wanted in some way.
I looked like everyone else,
but then they'd walk away.
Looking in the mirror
"I just have to try harder," I'd say.
I would always chase after them
but I was never enough
so I'd swallow the rejection
and convince myself I was tough.
Broken and shattered;
weary and alone
that's when I first realized
there's no way this was home.
I hit my knees, drowning in tears
I know I'm not supposed to
live life in fear.
But I'd gone too far, crossed the line
How could I expect You
to come back this time?
I had known You once,
and drank of Your love
But then I told You
that You weren't enough.
I didn't want to listen,
so I ran away.
Now I'm bitter and thirsty,
covered in shame.
Too far away
to reach for your throne
And I sure don't deserve it
So this has to be home.
Though it's hard and it's dark
and I feel so alone.
That's when You whispered
Your voice pierced the dark
"Arise my love, my beautiful one,
and come away,
for behold, the winter is past;
the rain is over and gone."
Rising slowly from the ashes
held by Your nail scarred hands
You allured me into the wilderness
and showed me Your land.
Then holding me tightly,
in the most tender tone
You said to me "My child,
I am bringing you home."
When I looked at Your heavens
the moon and stars You set in place;
I glanced at You sadly,
"You have made a mistake."
For I had turned to other gods
and loved the world's raisin cakes.
What am I that you would be mindful of me?
Who am I that you should care and love me?
So I tried to run
for that's all I know
But this time You held me
and didn't let go
speaking so softly, "beloved, thisis your home.
I am your Rock and your Fortress,
lay your head on My chest."
You showed me Who You are
and in You I found rest.
To escape Your presence- where can I go?
Forgive me my Father
for running from home.
You never stopped loving me
though I denied You were there;
How can I thank you for rescuing me
and bringing me here?
A life of obedience
is all I can give
You make up for what I lack
in this new life I live.
Now I sit in Your warmth,
still holding Your hand
but my heart breaks for those
who don't understand.
There are so many others
that are just like me
"Lord, won't you unveil their eyes?
Why can't they see?"
Looking into His loving, pain-filled face
I see that He knows,
and wants to show them His grace.
"Beloved, I will show you what to do
and where to go.
You must go and tell them
of how I brought you home."
For the rest of my days,
Lord this is what I will do
I will go to the nations,
making disciples for You.
Because Your blood was shed,
I labor not in vain.
You've already defeated the cross
that carries the world's pain.
And I know that You are with me
wherever I shall go
Until the sweet sweet day
I forever return home.
Discontentment & Philippians
So lately I’ve been feeling really down, and just kind of unhappy…discontent is a good word to describe how I’m feeling. The dictionary on here defines discontentment as “dissatisfaction…unhappiness…restlessness…” That pretty much hits the nail on the head. The weird thing is I’m doing really well spiritually- better than I have all year, in fact! Time with God has been a priority for me, and He has really been meeting with me and connecting with me. I feel close to Him, and He is teaching me a lot. But I am not doing well personally. I have never experienced such an extreme difference in the correlation between the two at one time. I guess I always assumed that if a person is doing well spiritually- then they will also be doing well personally; and that if someone is having a tough time personally, they must not be doing well spiritually. Apparently the opposite of each can co-exist.
As weird as it may sound, I am actually starting to like being at this place. Let me explain: when things are good in life and I enjoy myself; that is good- and a blessing from the Lord. At the same time, it can be a bit more difficult to stand on the fact that my abundant life is found in Christ- and not on these other things surrounding me. Being at this place I am right now, where I do not really like life so much- I have been clinging to Christ, and really experiencing what it means to find life in Him, & in God’s Word. It has truly been bringing peace and joy to my soul as I have been pressing into Him this week. It doesn’t erase the things in my life that I do not enjoy right now, but I can’t explain the high I feel, in the sense that He is so real to me and I am finding life fully in Him. A friend of mine always says to just “embrace” life whatever stage and whatever place you are in, and soak it for all it’s worth. If you’re lonely, take advantage of it as an opportunity to really depend on God and experience Him as Friend, Father, Comforter, Counselor, Refuge, and Strength.
Today my time in Philippians was really solid, as I felt that I could really relate to Paul. In the midst of writing this letter to the church in Philippi, Paul was in prison, for the sake of Christ. Surely, this is not an enjoyable place for Paul to be, but he has unstoppable joy in Christ. Paul finds his joy in the gospel being proclaimed, and the Kingdom of God being advanced. It really made me question- where do I find joy? Do I find it in temporary, earthly conditions, or do I find it in the furthering of God’s will? Here are some good “nuggets” from Philippians that I am clinging to today:
As weird as it may sound, I am actually starting to like being at this place. Let me explain: when things are good in life and I enjoy myself; that is good- and a blessing from the Lord. At the same time, it can be a bit more difficult to stand on the fact that my abundant life is found in Christ- and not on these other things surrounding me. Being at this place I am right now, where I do not really like life so much- I have been clinging to Christ, and really experiencing what it means to find life in Him, & in God’s Word. It has truly been bringing peace and joy to my soul as I have been pressing into Him this week. It doesn’t erase the things in my life that I do not enjoy right now, but I can’t explain the high I feel, in the sense that He is so real to me and I am finding life fully in Him. A friend of mine always says to just “embrace” life whatever stage and whatever place you are in, and soak it for all it’s worth. If you’re lonely, take advantage of it as an opportunity to really depend on God and experience Him as Friend, Father, Comforter, Counselor, Refuge, and Strength.
Today my time in Philippians was really solid, as I felt that I could really relate to Paul. In the midst of writing this letter to the church in Philippi, Paul was in prison, for the sake of Christ. Surely, this is not an enjoyable place for Paul to be, but he has unstoppable joy in Christ. Paul finds his joy in the gospel being proclaimed, and the Kingdom of God being advanced. It really made me question- where do I find joy? Do I find it in temporary, earthly conditions, or do I find it in the furthering of God’s will? Here are some good “nuggets” from Philippians that I am clinging to today:
- “Yes, and I will rejoice, for I know that through your prayers and the help of the Spirit of Jesus Christ this will turn out for my deliverance, as it is my eager expectation and hope that I will not be at all ashamed, but that with full courage now as always Christ will be honored in my body, whether by life or death. For me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.” –Phil. 1:17-21
-->Can I rejoice at any time in life, having eager expectation that Christ will always be honored in my body? Do I really view my life as Christ & purposed to serve Him, in a sense that death is gain in my mind, where I will finally be with Him? - “And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.”—Phil. 2:8
-->I constantly need to be humbled, realizing my humanity in comparison to God’s goodness & glory. Am I willing to be obedient to God- no matter where that takes me, and what it costs me? - “for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure. Do all things without grumbling or questioning” –Phil. 2:13-14
-->My life is for God’s good pleasure. It is Him who works in me, for the sake of His will. I have no right to complain or question Him. He is good, and all things are for His glory. What an undeserved privilege to be used for God’s will and His good pleasure! - “I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal that also to you. Only let us hold true to what we have attained.” –Phil. 3:14-16
- “And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” –Phil. 4:7
- “…for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.” –Phil. 4:11-12
The 15 Flirt Languages
I have developed a "flirt language" theory. There are exactly 15 flirt languages that I have identified...have fun, & see if you can identify which one you are. Don't worry, a book is in the making =P
1. The Elementary School Flirter: The Elementary School Flirter acts like, well an Elementary school kid would when they have a crush. They may throw things at the person or tap them and act like they didn't, or make fun of them and tease them.
2. The Shy Flirter: The Shy Flirter gets nervous and shy when they are around a potential interest, and so they usually avoid the person that they are crushing on. When they are around that person, they usually get really quiet and blush very easily.
3. The Awkward Flirter: The Awkward Flirter usually gets pretty frazzled when they are around a potential interest, and this results in them saying or doing the most awkward things ever.
4. The Ditzy Flirter: The Ditzy Flirter, usually female, tends to get a little less intelligent and significantly more ditzy than normal when they are around their crushes.
5. The Touchy-Feely Flirter: Pretty self-explanatory, the Touchy-Feely Flirter flirts by being more "hands-on," if you will, with the member of the opposite sex. This can range anywhere from innapropriate, to simply touching the arm or the shoulder briefly when talking to their potential interest.
6. The Magnet Flirter: The Magnet Flirter expresses their interest in the opposite sex by managing to always find that other person in a room and making an effort to be around them often, as if there is something drawing them to that other person. *
7. The Affirming Flirter: The Affirming Flirter flirts by offering compliments and affirmation to their potential interst- more than they would to any other individual.
8. The Show Off Flirter: The Show Off Flirter tries to get the attention of the opposite sex by showing off for them, and flaunting whatever skills they might have when they are around a potential interest.
9. The Chameleon Flirter: The Chameleon Flirter flirts with the opposite sex by becoming whatever they think the other person wants them to be; i.e. acting interested in the same things, and talking about things that they know their crush would want to talk about- even if these things do not particularly interest them.
10. The Manipulative Flirter: The Manipulative Flirter knows what flirt language their crush best responds to, and therefore flirts with them in a way that offers a greater chance of response from their crush. In many (but not all) cases, the Manipulative Flirter wants many people to be interested in them, even if they themselves would never really be legitimately interested in the person that they are flirting with- they simply like attention from the opposite sex.
11. The Cheesy Flirter: The Cheesy Flirter uses cheesy pickup lines as their way of expressing interest in the opposite sex. For example "Did it hurt? When you fell from Heaven?"
12. The Non-flirt Flirter: The Non-flirt Flirter flirts simply by acting like they are not interested at all. They may come off as intriguing or challenging, which is why this flirt language can sometimes be successful. Think John Travolta in the movie Grease.
13. The Direct Flirter: The Direct Flirter has no patience for flirting or game playing, so they are really direct and bold and will simply tell you that they are interested in you upfront. This flirt language has a pretty dramatic success or failure rate- either working out great in the flirter's favor, or being extremely humiliating.
-->I have recently discovered that there are actually 2 types of a Direct Flirter:
1. the obnoxiously direct flirter: an obnoxiously direct flirter is either cocky and expects to get what they want, or they simply have no patience.
2. the wisely direct flirter: a wisely direct flirter is not cocky, but likely confident. This person is direct in their flirtation, but only when the time is right and they feel it is appropriate to make their intentions clear.
14. The Undercover Flirter: The Undercover Flirter shows interest in the opposite sex by becoming their best friend; acting as a shoulder to lean on, always listening to them vent (usually about the opposite sex and relationships), and offering advice and counsel. This flirt language often goes unrecognized by the person who is the object of the flirtation, and the flirter often ends up feeling hurt or used.
15. The Servant Flirter: The Servant Flirter will express their interest in someone by serving them. For example, they might bring their potential interest a coffee while they are studying, cleanup for them while they are busy, bake them cookies, wash or fix their car, etc.
*Revision of the 6th flirt language...
Recently a very wise person (who shall remain nameless for protection of his widespread fame and professional athleticism) pointed out to me that the "Magnet flirter" may not, in fact, be legitimized as an actual "flirt language." He argues that the name "magnet" implies that it is a mutual subconscious attraction between 2 people. If they are being subconsciously drawn together in a way that they cannot control, then can it really be considered a flirt language?I am afraid I have to humble myself to his logic, and have re-worked the 6th flirt language. Feeling magnetically drawn to another person is an uncontrollable, subconscious force. Chemistry, if you will. However, purposefully trying to be around someone in order to flirt or let them know that you are interested can still be a flirt language. I introduce to you the "Clingy Flirter." I have re-posted the 6th Flirt language:
6. The Clingy Flirter: The Clingy Flirter expresses their interest in the opposite sex by managing to always find that other person in a room and making an effort to be around them often. If the potential interest is also interested in the clingy flirter, this will likely result in a quick start to a relationship (or faux-lationship, depending on the circumstances...). If the potential interest is not mutually interested, then the clingy flirter may come off as pesky and annoying.
1. The Elementary School Flirter: The Elementary School Flirter acts like, well an Elementary school kid would when they have a crush. They may throw things at the person or tap them and act like they didn't, or make fun of them and tease them.
2. The Shy Flirter: The Shy Flirter gets nervous and shy when they are around a potential interest, and so they usually avoid the person that they are crushing on. When they are around that person, they usually get really quiet and blush very easily.
3. The Awkward Flirter: The Awkward Flirter usually gets pretty frazzled when they are around a potential interest, and this results in them saying or doing the most awkward things ever.
4. The Ditzy Flirter: The Ditzy Flirter, usually female, tends to get a little less intelligent and significantly more ditzy than normal when they are around their crushes.
5. The Touchy-Feely Flirter: Pretty self-explanatory, the Touchy-Feely Flirter flirts by being more "hands-on," if you will, with the member of the opposite sex. This can range anywhere from innapropriate, to simply touching the arm or the shoulder briefly when talking to their potential interest.
6. The Magnet Flirter: The Magnet Flirter expresses their interest in the opposite sex by managing to always find that other person in a room and making an effort to be around them often, as if there is something drawing them to that other person. *
7. The Affirming Flirter: The Affirming Flirter flirts by offering compliments and affirmation to their potential interst- more than they would to any other individual.
8. The Show Off Flirter: The Show Off Flirter tries to get the attention of the opposite sex by showing off for them, and flaunting whatever skills they might have when they are around a potential interest.
9. The Chameleon Flirter: The Chameleon Flirter flirts with the opposite sex by becoming whatever they think the other person wants them to be; i.e. acting interested in the same things, and talking about things that they know their crush would want to talk about- even if these things do not particularly interest them.
10. The Manipulative Flirter: The Manipulative Flirter knows what flirt language their crush best responds to, and therefore flirts with them in a way that offers a greater chance of response from their crush. In many (but not all) cases, the Manipulative Flirter wants many people to be interested in them, even if they themselves would never really be legitimately interested in the person that they are flirting with- they simply like attention from the opposite sex.
11. The Cheesy Flirter: The Cheesy Flirter uses cheesy pickup lines as their way of expressing interest in the opposite sex. For example "Did it hurt? When you fell from Heaven?"
12. The Non-flirt Flirter: The Non-flirt Flirter flirts simply by acting like they are not interested at all. They may come off as intriguing or challenging, which is why this flirt language can sometimes be successful. Think John Travolta in the movie Grease.
13. The Direct Flirter: The Direct Flirter has no patience for flirting or game playing, so they are really direct and bold and will simply tell you that they are interested in you upfront. This flirt language has a pretty dramatic success or failure rate- either working out great in the flirter's favor, or being extremely humiliating.
-->I have recently discovered that there are actually 2 types of a Direct Flirter:
1. the obnoxiously direct flirter: an obnoxiously direct flirter is either cocky and expects to get what they want, or they simply have no patience.
2. the wisely direct flirter: a wisely direct flirter is not cocky, but likely confident. This person is direct in their flirtation, but only when the time is right and they feel it is appropriate to make their intentions clear.
14. The Undercover Flirter: The Undercover Flirter shows interest in the opposite sex by becoming their best friend; acting as a shoulder to lean on, always listening to them vent (usually about the opposite sex and relationships), and offering advice and counsel. This flirt language often goes unrecognized by the person who is the object of the flirtation, and the flirter often ends up feeling hurt or used.
15. The Servant Flirter: The Servant Flirter will express their interest in someone by serving them. For example, they might bring their potential interest a coffee while they are studying, cleanup for them while they are busy, bake them cookies, wash or fix their car, etc.
*Revision of the 6th flirt language...
Recently a very wise person (who shall remain nameless for protection of his widespread fame and professional athleticism) pointed out to me that the "Magnet flirter" may not, in fact, be legitimized as an actual "flirt language." He argues that the name "magnet" implies that it is a mutual subconscious attraction between 2 people. If they are being subconsciously drawn together in a way that they cannot control, then can it really be considered a flirt language?I am afraid I have to humble myself to his logic, and have re-worked the 6th flirt language. Feeling magnetically drawn to another person is an uncontrollable, subconscious force. Chemistry, if you will. However, purposefully trying to be around someone in order to flirt or let them know that you are interested can still be a flirt language. I introduce to you the "Clingy Flirter." I have re-posted the 6th Flirt language:
6. The Clingy Flirter: The Clingy Flirter expresses their interest in the opposite sex by managing to always find that other person in a room and making an effort to be around them often. If the potential interest is also interested in the clingy flirter, this will likely result in a quick start to a relationship (or faux-lationship, depending on the circumstances...). If the potential interest is not mutually interested, then the clingy flirter may come off as pesky and annoying.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)