Discontentment & Philippians

So lately I’ve been feeling really down, and just kind of unhappy…discontent is a good word to describe how I’m feeling. The dictionary on here defines discontentment as “dissatisfaction…unhappiness…restlessness…” That pretty much hits the nail on the head. The weird thing is I’m doing really well spiritually- better than I have all year, in fact! Time with God has been a priority for me, and He has really been meeting with me and connecting with me. I feel close to Him, and He is teaching me a lot. But I am not doing well personally. I have never experienced such an extreme difference in the correlation between the two at one time. I guess I always assumed that if a person is doing well spiritually- then they will also be doing well personally; and that if someone is having a tough time personally, they must not be doing well spiritually. Apparently the opposite of each can co-exist.

As weird as it may sound, I am actually starting to like being at this place. Let me explain: when things are good in life and I enjoy myself; that is good- and a blessing from the Lord. At the same time, it can be a bit more difficult to stand on the fact that my abundant life is found in Christ- and not on these other things surrounding me. Being at this place I am right now, where I do not really like life so much- I have been clinging to Christ, and really experiencing what it means to find life in Him, & in God’s Word. It has truly been bringing peace and joy to my soul as I have been pressing into Him this week. It doesn’t erase the things in my life that I do not enjoy right now, but I can’t explain the high I feel, in the sense that He is so real to me and I am finding life fully in Him. A friend of mine always says to just “embrace” life whatever stage and whatever place you are in, and soak it for all it’s worth. If you’re lonely, take advantage of it as an opportunity to really depend on God and experience Him as Friend, Father, Comforter, Counselor, Refuge, and Strength.

Today my time in Philippians was really solid, as I felt that I could really relate to Paul. In the midst of writing this letter to the church in Philippi, Paul was in prison, for the sake of Christ. Surely, this is not an enjoyable place for Paul to be, but he has unstoppable joy in Christ. Paul finds his joy in the gospel being proclaimed, and the Kingdom of God being advanced. It really made me question- where do I find joy? Do I find it in temporary, earthly conditions, or do I find it in the furthering of God’s will? Here are some good “nuggets” from Philippians that I am clinging to today:

• “Yes, and I will rejoice, for I know that through your prayers and the help of the Spirit of Jesus Christ this will turn out for my deliverance, as it is my eager expectation and hope that I will not be at all ashamed, but that with full courage now as always Christ will be honored in my body, whether by life or death. For me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.” –Phil. 1:17-21
  -->Can I rejoice at any time in life, having eager expectation that Christ will always be honored in my body? Do I really view my life as Christ & purposed to serve Him, in a sense that death is gain in my mind, where I will finally be with Him?
• “And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.”—Phil. 2:8
  -->I constantly need to be humbled, realizing my humanity in comparison to God’s goodness & glory. Am I willing to be obedient to God- no matter where that takes me, and what it costs me?
• “for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure. Do all things without grumbling or questioning” –Phil. 2:13-14
  -->My life is for God’s good pleasure. It is Him who works in me, for the sake of His will. I have no right to complain or question Him. He is good, and all things are for His glory. What an undeserved privilege to be used for God’s will and His good pleasure!
• “I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal that also to you. Only let us hold true to what we have attained.” –Phil. 3:14-16
• “And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” –Phil. 4:7
• “…for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.” –Phil. 4:11-12